Totally Serious Football Exclusives

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[1] Relegation jokes at our expense

[2] Reliance

[3] Money rolling in as Sports Direct to become new Academy sponsor

[4] Ashley has a look-a-like

[5] Hello England

[6] Mike Ashley unveils surprise new home kit

[7] Greggs the Bakers bid for Newcastle United

[8] Viva Espania for Schweinsteiger

[9] Owen makes hay while England play

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